Nero Shrimp
by Scarlett Rogue
Summary: Whilst on a trip with Jim to Iowa, Spock tries a rather peculiar food and he experiences a reaction he is not used to. Can Jim get him home safely? Based on Star Trek Gag Reel. Spirk!


**Summary: Whilst on a trip with Jim to Iowa, Spock tries a rather peculiar food and he experiences a reaction he is not used to. Can Jim get him home safely? Based on Star Trek Gag Reel. Spirk!**

**Rated: T for Jim's language and Spock's...erm...confidence**

**Author's Note: I am a very picky reader. I can only read fics with really excellent grammar, spelling, and a compelling storyline. This being said, I've been reading a fic that I think you should all read, called Consuming Fire. Go read it. Now. You will not regret it. It's absolutely freaking epic!**

**WARNING! This is not explicit, per se, but VERY apparent slashy material and if that isn't your thing, I suggest you turn back now.  
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"Jim, what do you call this?"

Spock held his fork between his index finger and thumb like it was a bug. Jim was expecting him to drop it on the floor and start spastically stepping on it, but of course, this is Spock we're talking about. Spock just didn't act like that, to Jim's disappointment.

"I'll tell you once you take a bite." Jim, for once, tried to hold in his laughter. He knew that laughing at Spock's discomfort would not make his bond mate more willing to taste the nauseating gelatinous substance slipping off his fork. Jim had been drunk when he first tried it and it had been terrible then. He was probably being mean to allow, _encourage_, Spock to try something so horrid, but it was pay back. After the shower incident, Jim was willing to do anything to make Spock suffer - in a painless way, at least.

"I...do not think I should risk it. This food has obviously been laying around for much time, and I do not know what it will do to my body."

"Come on Spock, where's your sense of adventure!" Spock eyed his mate warily before slowly lifting his fork to his eyes. If Jim was being perfectly honest, the sight of Spock opening his mouth to take in something green, gooey and leaking was repulsive, but he couldn't help the amusement he got out of it.

Spock tipped his fork forward and visibly blanched as the goo hit his tongue and sent a burst of wretched bitterness to every corner of his mouth. He leaned over the table with a quick jerk of his body, but not before Jim could see what his intentions were.

"NO! Bad Spock! Swallow!" He pulled Spock back up and resisted the urge to explode with laughter at the childish look of despair that Spock was now sporting. Spock jammed his eyes shut and forced the gooey yet crunchy substance down his throat before he let out a harsh choking noise and started gagging.

"Jim, why would you - UGH!" His body shuttered as he tried to keep the bile down. Throwing up in a restaurant minutes before having to meet Jim's family was not ideal, no matter how deplorable the food he'd just eaten was.

"You okay?" Jim laughed without shame, earning him a dark glare from his Vulcan counterpart.

"'Okay' is hardly the appropriate sentiment for the situation at hand, and if your goal was to make me completely unsuitable for a meeting with your family, you have achieved your goal with, as you humans say, 'flying colors.'"

Jim let out a hardy laugh as he threw enough money to cover the bill ten-fold onto the blue glass table and stood up.

"Indeed, Mr. Spock, I believe we _do _have a previous engagement to attend to. May I?" Spock rolled his eyes at Jim's outstretched hand but grasped it nonetheless. Any opportunity to touch his mate was worth taking, no matter how arbitrary Jim was acting. Spock allowed the younger man to pull him out into the fresh air and straddled his motorcycle with one quick, lithe hop.

"Hold on tight, beautiful!" Jim geared up his motorcycle and they were soon speeding along the desolate road. Spock leaned his head on Jim's back, breathing in the scent of the other man's cologne. It was his favorite scent next to Jim's natural smell.

As the road signs sped along, Spock felt his stomach twist suddenly. At first he thought the unnamed food would make a reappearance, but then his gut clenched in a remarkably familiar way and he gasped audibly. Jim twisted his head around to make sure Spock hadn't lost his wits.

_I am fine, ashayam_.

Spock saw Jim's shoulders relax as their bond connection reached him. Spock could hear him humming a made up tune in his head, his fingers strumming along to the beat. Spock leaned his head back down and tried to relax but his gut soon clenched again and he dug his fingers into Jim's side involuntarily.

_Spock?_

_Hayal ne', Jim. We will be late if you stop. _Spock new it was ridiculous for him to tell Jim to calm down when he was the one who needed to calm down. Weird things were happening inside his body, but he didn't want Jim to know. He would worry if he knew that the Vulcan didn't know what was happening to his own body. For all his crude jokes and careless behavior, Jim was an expert at worrying.

A wave of heat was beginning to spread itself throughout Spock's body. He tightened his grip around Jim's midsection, his hands dipping lower without his permission. His fingers grazed over the front of Jim's pants and he felt the younger man draw in a sharp breath at the sudden contact. His own mind was reeling, his anger rising to insult his own carelessness. He and Jim had just been bonded. Their physical relationship wasn't that developed - or, rather, didn't develop very often - so an accidental stroke of the other man's member in the middle of nowhere seemed highly inappropriate.

Spock lifted his head up in hopes of having the eye-burning sensation of the wind gushing by his face wake him out of his strange behavior. Once he felt his heart rate slow down a little, he went to lean his head down again. Jim chose that moment to adjust his posture, sending his backside against Spock's front with surprising force. Spock knew it was an accident; he should not have reacted as he did. It was inexcusable.

"Spock!" Jim promptly slowed down and pulled the bike over to the side of the road when he heard his mate release a tiny moan of pleasure.

"Spock, are you okay?" Spock shook his head, wrapping his arms tight around his muscular chest. _Spock, speak to me. What's on your mind?_

Spock tried to block off their bond so Jim couldn't hear the thoughts running through his head. Shock overcame desire momentarily when Spock found that he didn't possess the strength to put up a block between their minds.

_Go away!_

His words would have caught Jim off guard if they had not been said in such a tense, vulnerable tone. Jim could barely make out what was lurking under the surface of the Vulcan's near-perfect facade. He pushed harder against the bond, worry creeping into his mind. Was Spock hurt? Did Jim do something to make him upset? He thought things had been going smoothly, save for the small restaurant chuckle on his part, but maybe he had done something...he had.

He could see it now, and what he saw made him erupt into a fit of laughter that echoed into the distance. Spock attempted to glare at him, but the effect was weakened by shades of lust beginning to spread across his handsome features.

"Oh, Spock! I had no idea sea food turned you on!" Jim bent over, clutching his stomach from the pain that his laughter had brought on. He knew that Spock's desire would fade quickly. It always did. Jim also knew he should take advantage of this opportunity, because Spock didn't get aroused often. It pained him to acknowledge that he couldn't; his family had been waiting a long time to see Spock and they'd have his head if he postponed the visit any longer.

"Come on, babe. We have a dinner to go to." Jim giggled when he heard a small whimper escape his Vulcan's lips. "Do me a favor and try to save that for later?"

Jim sat back on the motorcycle in front of Spock and soon they were speeding once more into the night.

_Ashayam, seshau abru._

Jim cocked his head to the side. He had never heard these words uttered by the Vulcan before. He assumed, by the familiar nickname, that Spock was just saying something sweet and sappy like he usually did. That is, until he felt Spock pull up the Captain's shirt and slide his fingers over his bare chest.

Jim's body jumped in surprise and he swiveled the bike over to the side of the road. As dirt kicked up around them in the sudden halt of the bike, Jim whirled around and eyed Spock as if he was questioning his sanity.

"What the fuck are you doing!" Spock's answering smile was dazzling. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Jim's ear, breathing heat down the man's spine.

"Taluhk nash-veh." Jim has heard these words before, but never with such a look in Spock's eyes. His eyes were burning with a fever, a fever that Jim was beginning to think wasn't in his power to control. Spock leaned back, brushing his soft lips over those of his mate before latching onto his mouth, tongue already pushing against his lips, demanding entrance.

"Spock, wait -" Jim gasped as he felt the Vulcan lean back over the motorcycle and pull his mate on top of him. He wrapped one leg around Jim's waist and ground his hardened member against Jim's thigh. Spock ran his fingers through Jim's golden blond hair and pushed his face forward, allowing his tongue to explore his mate's hot mouth. He pulled Jim's shirt up and ran his nails down Jim's bare back, earning a hearty groan from the other man.

Jim jumped away from Spock, his heart nearly jumping out of his throat as a car sped by, blaring it's horn loudly.

"Get a room, homos!" someone yelled from the car window. Spock sat up, a blazing look in his dark eyes.

"Mind your own business, you commiserable virgin!" Spock spat out as the vehicle sped by. Jim stared at him in pure shock and admiration.

"Spock, wha-"

"Where were we?" With a fire in his eyes, Spock grabbed at Jim's shirt, trying to dispel the man of his clothing as fast as possible. He pulled and seconds later Jim heard the ripping of fabric. He was about to protest, but then Spock's lips were on his neck and slowly sucking their way down his chest.

"Spock, we can't do this here."

"It'll go away if you turn me down, Jim. Take it while it lasts." Jim gulped as Spock slipped his hands around the hem on Jim's jeans.

"Something tells me it's not going anywhere. Spock...Spock!" Spock pulled away, exasperation and impatience as apparent as if it had been written across his face in black ink.

"Come on, Jim, where's your sense of adventure? I _need _you!"

"And I _need _you to pull yourself together so we can have a normal night with my family!" Jim tried to plead with the Vulcan, but he could see that it was useless. Spock's lust had come out of seemingly nowhere. It wasn't going away.

Jim sighed and, giving up, pulled out his cellphone and dialed his mother's phone number. _She's going to kill me!_

_Just tell her you were getting laid. She'll understand._

Jim was so shocked by Spock's comment that he didn't notice that his mother had answered the phone until Spock arched his eyebrow and jerked his head to the phone. "Oh, hi Mom!" Spock took advantage of Jim's preoccupation by slowly gliding a slender finger down the human's torso. Jim breathed in sharply and grabbed Spock's finger, holding it in place. "I can't come, Mom. Spock is...ill." Spock gave him a wicked grin before grabbing a hold of his jeans. Jim flailed his hand out while continuing the conversation with his mom. "I know, I know. I'm so sorry. I wouldn't do this if it weren't absolutely necessar-y-y!"

Jim dropped the phone when he felt Spock's hand slip into his jeans. He yanked his body away, earning a growl from his lover.

"Mom, I'll call you later okay? Spock is showing...symptoms. Bye!" He hung up the phone before he mother could make any more protests.

"Good God, what has gotten into you!" Jim made Spock get back on the bike and drove him back to his apartment as fast as he could. As soon as the door was shut, Spock shoved Jim up against a wall and attacked his neck with his wet tongue. Jim was quickly becoming a jumbled mess of passion and desire under his influence.

_The food you made me eat. I'm having a reaction. What was it called, anyway?_

Jim had to work hard to think passed he raging desire and the desire of his bond-mate, a desire that was coursing equally through their blood as their minds connected.

_Um...Nero Shrimp, I think._

_Beg your pardon?_

Spock pulled back and stared Jim in the eyes, trying to catch Jim's bluff. But there was no bluff and he saw it. Jim strained forward, trying to touch Spock, needing to feel that physical connection once more. To his dismay Spock pushed off the wall and walked calmly in the opposite direction.

_Ugh, how vile. No wonder it tasted atrocious. I'm going to get ready for bed, Jim._

_But -but, what about me!_

"Are you serious? I couldn't possibly hold an erection after someone drops the name 'Nero'. Good-night, Jim."

Jim was left standing in the hallway in the dark, his body straining against his tight jeans and his jaw dropped in horror. That was the night he learned to never try to get Spock back for something. It would always come back to bite him in the ass in the end.

**So, what did you think? I kind of got a little carried away, but I had fun writing this nonetheless. Please review and tell me what you think!**_  
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**Translations:**

_Ashayam - beloved_

_Hayal ne' - Calm down_

_Seshau abru - pull over_

_Taluhk nash-veh- I cherish thee  
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End file.
